Ep 16: What Dying Taught Us with Near-Death Experience Survivor Cassandra Mary Bauer

Having a near-death experience is intense, to say the least. Survivors often report out-of-body experiences.  I had one of those. A sense of peace or euphoria? I felt that, too. Some describe seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, the most common stereotype we’ve all heard. Others encounter beings or past loved ones...this was the experience of Cassandra Mary Bauer. Her NDE was unlike anything I’d ever come across. I watched an old YouTube video of her sharing it, and I immediately reached out. What she described blew my mind. She goes into detail about it in this episode, but the real magic is in what comes after.

Because the transformation happens here, in the now, in the integration. These experiences gifted both of us an expanded consciousness, a renewed sense of purpose, heightened presence, and an awakening to our inner knowing, our intuition. And the beauty of sharing stories like this is realizing: you don’t have to nearly die to come alive.

While trauma often cracks us open, access to higher frequency information can also be the key. A key to planting seeds for a new reality. A key to recognizing the everyday magic. Not just in surviving, but in truly living. In expecting miracles, in every single moment. Because if you’re here, listening... you already are one.

About Cassandra Mary Bauer
Cassandra Mary Bauer is a survivor of death, and through the unraveling of grief, she rediscovered her authentic self—love. After a near-death experience, she encountered her brother Jason on the other side of the veil—a moment that forever shifted her perspective. His presence, love, and message—that she was not alone—became the catalyst for her transformation.Reconnected to a higher power, Cass’s mission became clear: to help others master presence, understand their emotions, and make conscious choices to heal. As a holistic practitioner, trauma-informed life coach, and visionary, she has guided thousands in aligning mind, body, and soul. Cass is an author, poet, and storyteller, writing from the space between worlds to remind others they are not alone. She teaches others to surrender the doing and embrace the being—the poet, the mystic, the mirror. Her voice, once silenced, now resonates with those ready to be seen and heard. She believes she was called to this sacred remembering, where words are prayers, and presence holds the power to heal.

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Transcript

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Having a near-death experience is intense, to say the least. Survivors often report out-of-body experiences. I had one of those. A sense of peace or euphoria. I felt that, too. Some describe seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. That's the most common stereotype we've all heard. Others encounter beings or past loved ones. This was the experience of Cassandra Mary Bower. Her NDE was unlike anything I've ever come across. I watched an old video on YouTube of her sharing it, and I immediately reached out to her. What she described blew my mind. She goes into detail about it in this episode, but the real magic is in what comes after. Because the transformation happens here in the now, in the integration. These experiences gifted both of us an expanded consciousness, a renewed sense of purpose, heightened presence, and an awakening to our inner knowing, our intuition. But the beauty of sharing stories like this is realizing you don't have to nearly die to come alive. While trauma often cracks us open, access to higher frequency information can also be the key. A key to planting seeds for a new reality. A key to recognizing the everyday magic not just in surviving, but in truly living. In expecting miracles in every single moment. Because if you're here listening, you already are one. Hi, I'm Laura Scarpati filmmaker and woo woo enthusiast here today to cut through the noise, pull back the veil, and cozy up in the space between reality and spirituality. Thanks for listening to the Woo report. Cassandra Mary Bower. Thank you so, so, so much for being on the report. I'm so happy to see you in person. I'm so excited. Laura, thank you so much for having me on the report. I love it. So I found you because I was deep in YouTube looking at near-death experiences, and my jaw was on the floor when I heard your story. And it is. It's a miracle that every one of us is here. It's a miracle you and I are here. We had we both had these near-death experiences. And while they can be shocking and so wild, the real juiciness and the real magic, and I think that you'll agree with me on this has come from what has happened after and how we have transformed that moment into something more expansive for us, and how we have transformed it into purpose. So I know you've told this story before, but I think it'll be new for my listeners, and I'd love to hear about this wild near-death experience that you had. Yeah, thank you for that, Laura. And I just. Want to say, before I kind of go into the story that I know I had said this to you. Before, but one of the reasons that I'm so. Excited to do this podcast with you is because this is the first podcast. That I've done. With another host that has. Experienced and had. The full. Experience of a near-death experience. but. It's a different vibration. It's a different, Space. To kind of dive into. And I'm really excited for that, to, like. Play with you. And not only. The story, but like where it. Came from in. Both of. Us. And like. The beautiful miracles after. because. I feel like that's like, that's what a lot of people don't get to hear. you know, so. With that. Said, going into my near-death experience, You know, it's what. Year is it now? 2020. Five. So this is 12 years ago now. so this happened in 2013, November 11th. So 1111.

At 1: 4:30

11 a.m.. What? Yeah. Yeah, I know, and I get to say that. To you because I know you're going to connect. That and. Understand it. That is wild. Yeah, yeah. So for a lot of people that. You know, don't know and are tuning in, you know, 1111 the angelic representation is really the new beginning. And it's. Such a. Deep and profound and. Prolific. Moment. And the. Way that. I see it now is like the 1111 are. Doorways. It's a gateway. It's a portal. into something new. So, In 2013. I was physically 25 years old. And at that time I was, you know, I was. Really. Suffering in my life. I was. Working in a restaurant and bar industry. In Chicago. and I had been an. Addict for the past 15. Years of my life at that point. And when I say addict, I mean it in the way of when I was, you know, 11 years old. The school system. Put me on a drug. That a lot of people know these days is Adderall. And Adderall at that. Time was it. Was prescribed to me for A.D.D. and ADHD and a. Learning. Disability. and. For me, I've said this before, and I'll say it again. It was the drug. That stole my soul. Because it really took. Me out of the presence of the human experience. You know. It sped. Up my nervous. System. It it it pushed me. Away from myself. And it was a drug that I was guided by the school. System and the doctors. To. Be on. And of. Course, at that age, I. Gave my. Power away. And not only took it, but ended up abusing it. Because I felt like. No one cared enough about me. To regulate it, to look deeper. To understand why I was acting, the ways that I was acting. And the truth is, the reason I was acting those. Ways is because I. Was suffering. You know, I was a very, very. Sensitive. Child. Living in a very intense. World. And I came from a lot of suffering and a lot of addiction and a. Lot of abuse. Mentally, emotionally. Physically, spiritually. And I wanted to be seen, you know, like, I want to be heard. I want to be knowledge. I want to be held. and I wasn't getting that, you know. so it took. Me down a. 15 year pill. Addiction. And I just checked out of the human experience, and when I was 20. Five years old and. Working in this job, you know, I'll never forget going into the bathroom when my brother. Blake. Called me. He's the middle child of our family. and hearing him tell me that, our. Eldest brother. Jason, had. Overdosed. And that. He. Was no longer here. And in that moment. It was like. Something shifted me back into the human experience. I looked in the mirror, I fell to my knees, and I felt my soul. And I get to like. I'm excited. To, like, play. With you in this way, in. Speaking my language. Because this is the truth. It's like I had been dissociated for 15. Years of my life, and it was like. It took this big. Punch. To like, get me. Back into my. Body and feel the. Pain. And in that moment, looking back now, it's like. Who would. Want. To feel that pain, right? Like, who would want to. Feel the pain of my childhood? Who would want to. Feel the pain of all that. Abuse and all that. Struggle? And something clicked in that moment. It was like everything made sense. But like at a deeper. Level than I could really understand at a conscious. Level. And within that moment, it. Took me into a space. Of wanting to get. Sober. I just like. Had a knowing, like there was some. It was like my soul. Now that I, I say it and I can say to you, it was like my soul was trying to figure this thing out and. Communicate with Cass. Like, here we go. This is the journey. Follow me. But as a. Human. Right, Cass? She was like, I don't know if I can trust this, right? Like, I don't know if I can trust the. Guidance, the signs, the feelings, the intuition. Right. So I took. That next time. To get sober. I started to. Wean myself. Off of these. Drugs, and I did it by myself, which was something that was so intense and such. A spiritual experience. In itself. To be with myself during that. But I ended up getting sober and I went back into the atmosphere. That I. Was sick in, right? This night life. This. Going out, this, you know. You know. Being around constant addiction. And at that point, I wasn't strong enough, you know, like, I wasn't strong enough in myself. It's like, you know, you like. You're wobbly. You know, it's. Like. You're not fully anchored yet. And I and I went back into. This. Experience and there was temptation. There was peer pressure. There was wanting to fit in. There was like, I don't know how to. Do. This thing sober. I don't know how to do this thing as me without all the masks. And I ended. Up. Having a few drinks, getting behind the wheel of a car that night. And I'm driving on the highway and I'm literally singing Eminem, you are not alone. Like I'm screaming at. I'm like holding the wheel. And I it's like I could. Hear my subconscious saying, are. You ready to play? I could feel. That something was out of alignment. I just didn't know at that time what it was. And I'm on the highway. I'm going like 100 and something miles per hour. I'm in the, you know, the right hand lane and a car ends up getting in front of me, and I didn't want to hit them. So I turn the wheel. And instead of stopping, I can say. This too. I accelerated, I accelerated into a ditch. I ended up flipping. Seven times, hitting a tree and flipping over a five foot fence and literally clearing the fence and landing in a parking lot upside down. Oh my gosh. And when that happened. It's like I. Remember holding on. I remember watching my hands. I remember the. Initial like hit of the ditch. And the second I. Started to roll, I was in heaven. And I wasn't my body. I wasn't in the human experience. I was light, I was like a feather, I was happy, I was an angel, you know, I. Was having this angelic experience and I saw my brother Jason, who. Had passed away. And, you know, he's wearing the same white, you know, hospital gown that he was when I said goodbye to him at the funeral home. And I'm looking at him. And he's just there. It's like the realest thing and way more. Real than anything I had experienced than the human experience, because. I wasn't. Really present for. That moment. But I was. In pure presence. And Jason looked at me and. He. Told me that I was not alone, and. That I was to go. Back and to create. A channel to allow other people to know that they. Were not alone. But that I. Had to remember to remember. That I. Was not alone. Okay. And that's the key, which I want to go into you deeper into. This podcast about, because most people miss these, these little. Things. Like that. Line like you have to remember to remember. When you come. Back into the human experience that you are not alone. And the remembering to remember has nothing to do with the human experience. It has to do with spirit. It has to do. With an energy and a field. That. We cannot see. With our. Human eye. So. After that. Happened. I. Woke up in the hospital. That. And the ironic part. About that was like, he's sitting. There telling me that I'm not alone. Yet. I wake up in a hospital room and I'm alone. But I had a knowing, an alignment, that I wasn't alone anymore. There was a deep cellular. Remembrance. That I wasn't alone. I wasn't doing life alone anymore. And it gave me this strength. This awareness. This. Discipline, this determination. To walk a path. Of the unknown and trust that I'm not. Alone while I do that. And I like to. Say that, you know, when I woke up, the one thing that I said to myself. Which I had told you, you know, before that we're I know we're. Going to go into. Today is like. I said to myself in that. Hospital bed, cast this character that you've been playing your whole life. This 25. Years of your life. It's just not working. Not cutting. It like you're not good at it. Anymore. You know, you can't play this. This girl that works. In a bar. You can't play this thing that doesn't feel. You can't play this thing that, you know. Shuts out the world. That's not vulnerable. That has secrets. All these things that you have adopted. From your family of origin doesn't work anymore. So who are you actually. Going to consciously. Choose to be. Now? And, what clarity that is, though, what clarity that is. Did that come while you were laying in the hospital bed? Yeah. Where did that come? That was immediate. That was immediate clarity. Yeah. That is so wild. I want to back up for one second if I can. Please. Okay. When you were in heaven. Yeah, this, I think. And this is the part of the experience that is like people are like, what are you talking about? Like your body is here. You are elsewhere. Yeah. Is it your consciousness? Is it your soul? Is your spirit? I mean, I I'll see for myself what happened to me was that my what I feel like was my consciousness. And maybe that is the same thing as my soul and spirit. I actually haven't really thought about that, but flew out of my body. Yeah. And I saw myself. I didn't see heaven. I saw the scene. I just felt peace. I felt like everything was going to be okay. I felt like a surrender in that moment. I've heard about people talking to God. We're seeing other colors or hearing music, and so I just want to get granular about like that part of the experience. So you saw your brother, was it like light, white light all around him? Yeah. So I love that you're bringing this up because for me personally. I am a. Believer that our soul. Is our consciousness, and I am a believer in that. I believe that when that happened for me. That that that. Consciousness, my consciousness, my. Soul. Left my body. I didn't feel. That. And I. As I have. Come back into this human experience, I do. Feel like there is a field, right. There is a field. Of consciousness, there. Is a field, a. Frequency, and it is quantum physics. That there's a frequency, there's a field. That we cannot see, but. That we were all. Connected and all a. Part of. I feel like I slipped through the veil. I believe that I slipped right through the veil. Yes, I. Believe the veil is very thin, especially for me. These days. It's extremely thin. Yes. And I. Feel like I. Just met him. And the way. That I'll describe it is like. I'm an extremely visual person. Yeah. And you know, like, I. I learn through visuals and I feel like I slipped in. Like, almost like looking at, like, Saturn and like the ring of. Saturn, right? Like there's, like, little like, like slivers. And I. Feel like I just slid through. And as I. Slid through, it was like we just met. And there was nothing to. See because there's. Nothing. To see. Like I say to people at the time, like people say like you, it's the windows to your soul, your eyes. It's like when I look at you, your body falls away. I don't see right now. I'm looking at you. I don't see your background. I don't see anything but you. It's a light. It's this essence. It's this connection. And that's what I felt with him. I saw the this. There was nothing to see, I saw. Him. I saw his essence. I felt his frequency. I knew it was. That's why I say it was. Like a remembrance. It's. It's a remembrance of. A frequency that I've. Been a part. Of forever. Did you feel like you had. Had signs from him before this moment? After he had passed? So right after he had passed. I went. Into. I'm an investigator. Like, I just like, I love. Research and especially now after my NDE. Like, I just I'm a very spiritual. Person, but I'm a full Capricorn, so I'm very grounded. I'm obsessed. I Capricorn sun, moon and rising. So I'm like literally Earth. So like I feel like the actual NDE was like a bridge from spirit to earth for me. Like, oh. My gosh, you are literally Earth. And the card that I pulled right before this was Earth activated. Yeah, well that's it activated. What's that? I mean, it's alignment, but it's it's like you can't even make this shit up because this is. This is the magic. Of the world. Oh, good. You know, like. Oh my gosh. So sorry I don't know. No, I. Actually when I, when I had come back in the human experience. There was a. Medium that actually. Said, like. Your NDE. Was a bridge, so you can be. So grounded on earth. But that you could help. Ground the understanding. Of what. Heaven is. So it's like a bridge from heaven to earth. But so when you say like, were there signs? After my brother died, I went into this space. And I'll never forget I'm sitting in my kitchen. I lived in Chicago and this apartment, and I saw. This face in. The tiles in my apartment. I'd never seen it before. And I was like, oh my God. So I had. Just, like, kind of moved in months before, and I was working so much that I didn't unpack. And I had a lamp on a box. And while. I'm like, in this. Space. Of feeling, I knock the lamp. Over. And I'm like, what is in this box anyway? Like, why have I not unpacked this box? And I open it and it's a journal. And it was probably one of the only gifts my brother had ever given me in our time together. And it's actually the passage. That's written on my arm. he gave me a notebook to to write. And when I went to. College. And he basically said, you know, I'm proud of you for being an artist. I'm proud of you for being who you are. And the last line. Is, bless this. World with your inspiration and beauty. And all will fall into place and. Make no sense at. All. I'll always be here. Love your brother. Jason and. That. Line all will fall into place and make no sense at. All. Has become way more. Prevalent and miraculous to feel. Until. After my near-death experience. And after we go through what we go through, as we walk. The line of understanding what it is. To really. Be alive in the human experience. but then I researched his, His name, and I never knew that Jason meant healer in Hebrew. And you know. What? I, what. I meditated on because I've been into meditation since. I was like. 15, 16 years. Old, is I heard spirit. Come through me saying. He is. What's going to. Heal your. Family lineage. And the truth is, is he is because. He's my guide on the other side and I am breaking. Cycles. I am. Disrupting. Every system in my generation and I am healing the lineage. But I could never have done this if I didn't have him on the other side. To play this game with. He is my biggest guardian. He is the. Most miraculous. Artist on the other side. Like I and he. We play like I'm. In the human experience. But we play. In the quantum. Field all. The time. And I tell people all the time, like when I first started getting good at this, I was like. Jason. Paint me purple. Flowers. When I'm anxious. I would say it in the car everywhere. And I'm telling you. Laura, to the degree of I'm in Joshua Tree last year. And. There's no flowers. You're in a desert in the middle. It's 100. And 20. Degrees out, and I go out of the Airbnb. And my partner is walking the dogs, and they very much know how I play in this game. And Jason gives them signs as well. They walk up to a bush. And there's. A bouquet of purple flowers, plastic, purple flowers, and we just started laughing. Because he's like, I'm here. You're safe guys. It's all. Good. It's so good. Yeah, you are in the hospital bed. You are like, here's clarity. I've been cracked wide open. Yep. Now what? Yeah. I feel grateful that you. And I. Get to sit here and do this because we're. Both walking this path. This is the part where it's like, now that we need to take grounded action. Yeah. Like, that's. That part's hard. We are. Yeah. We could be enlightened, but actually taking the action. Yeah. Is it's easier said than done. Yeah. I am excited because. I want to go. Into all the steps. That got me here. Because that's going to be the best part for people to understand. Like walking the path unknown, right? Like, yes, we're so scared of that because we're taught to be scared of it. And I want to teach people they don't have to be scared. Right. So I woke up. In a hospital. Bed. It's I. Understand that, like, there's a choice that's already been made. Right? It's not even like a. It was a conscious choice in that bed that was. Made. But there was no choice. Like I knew what I had to do. Right? Like, now that I'm back in the human experience, I knew that I am about to embark on a. Journey that is. Unexplained because all of our journeys. Right, are our our to our own soul, right? Nobody that walks this path has the same story, right? But the beauty is that we all have the same. Feelings along the story. And that's why being these mirrors. For people is so important that like you can feel all this but you can still do it right. Like we can still do it and it's going to get done. And you just. Have to have that courage. And that belief in yourself. When I get out. Of the hospital. The it was like. The unfolding began immediately. My mom and I go to. The, to the police. Station. And we go to fill out paperwork. All these police officers literally. Come up to the table and they're like, oh my God. You're her. And they were like, you're the girl that almost died. They were like, but we have a question. And I'm like, okay. And they were. Like, Who's. Jason? And the second they said that, my mom turned to me and looked at me and I looked at her and I'm just like. I'm like short circuiting. And I'm like, why are you you know. My mom was like, why are you asking her that? And they were like, well, because when we got there. You were in a full blown conversation with somebody named Jason. Like, we couldn't get through to you. And. They said that they were so, like, caught in this story that I was. Having this conversation, that. They thought. That Jason had flown out of the car. So they were. Searching the surrounding area looking for Jason. Oh my gosh. Because they thought that he had gone. Somewhere. and they had. Basically said that. Everything that I. Had. Told my mother, which was that I'm in this conversation with Jason. I'm begging him not to leave me after he tells me this. This message, I'm holding on to him for dear life. And then I open my arms and I fly. Back through the clouds. And I'm in this hospital bed. So they ended up telling me that I was in this full blown conversation they couldn't get through to me. I grabbed on to a paramedic, begging the paramedic not to like, leave me, and I end up opening my arms and falling backwards into the gurney. And so I say that because it's like. Everything that I had told my mom. That was. Happening because she thought I was nuts, you know. Like, she's like, you know, I need, like, cool. This is gonna leave that. Yeah. It's 12. Yeah. Especially 12 years ago. I feel like. Well, not only 12 years ago, but. I think, you know, thinking about being a mom. You just lost your son. And mind you, my brother is ten years older than me. And so my mom had ten years with him. Before. Anyone. So it's like she just lost this part of her soul, just almost loses the baby. Right? And I'm saying this from a compassionate space for anyone who's watching, because I've done a lot of work. Right, like on all the people and. Characters that had to play this story. Like into my. Story. But like. I think about that. That's soul crushing. How could you even how could you go there? All you're doing is like, I'm grateful. That this. Person is alive. You know, like, I almost just lost another piece of my life. It was her look when she looked at me like, oh my God, like, this is real. Like something, something happened to you, you know, after that, we ended up going to the. Actual. Scene of where I was in the car accident because. All this stuff had. Like, flown out of the. Car. And I want to tell you. That, like, just for, like. Perception wise. Like I was. Driving a g-wagon. Right? A g-wagon is a big black box, right? Essentially, when you're in it. There's a lot of room between your head. And the ceiling. And I'm going to say it because. This is like a you know, it's a vulnerable thing for me to say. But at that age I was. So unconscious, you know, like, I wasn't fully in my life. I wasn't grateful for the things that I had. I wasn't myself. Right. It's a very outdated. Version of me. that night that I got in that accident, I. Stole my parents car. I drove my. Truck to their house. And I didn't have enough. Gas to go out, so I took their car. So I wasn't even supposed to be. In that. Car. And it was my mother's. Car. So I say that because what the doctor had said was how many. Times I hit my. Head flipping. That if I was in any other car other than that car, I would have instantly died because my neck would have snapped instantly. Wow. Yeah. So not only did that happen, but like, I totaled my mother's car. Okay. My gosh. So I oh my gosh. Wait, what? What physically was there anything physically wrong with you other than maybe you had a concussion? Like, what else going on? Well, so when I physically when I woke up from that hospital, like in the hospital, my head. Was the size. Of a watermelon. Like, I mean, I was. Distorted, like most people don't really know, like what that look like, because I have reconfigured. My body in such a. Beautiful way because of the accident. but I ended up breaking all my ribs. I, dislocated. My. Hip. I had severe nerve damage down the entire left side of my body. My whole left side was black, like, I mean black. I had, bleeding. In my brain and I had chipped my spine, and I broke my collarbone. So, like, I had things, but, like, you know, thank God. I mean, it could have been some the grand scheme. Yeah, right. I totally I still feel it's still still a lot. It's nice. Yeah, yeah. And it's been a lot of reconstruction. internally. Yeah. Which, you know, also. This, this this NDE showed. Me that I'm a, I'm a. Healer. Like, I have the. Power to internally heal myself and that, we. Have been so. Programed to think that we can't. it's like another gift that this this, this experience has. Given me. but. So after. We had gone to the. Police, we. Had gone to the scene. Of where the actual car had had flipped and just visualized seeing this tree. There's a part of it ripped off from the car. And there's. This tall grass everywhere. And so I'm, like. Looking for my shoe. I'm like, looking for my club. Was like, there were things in the car that just flew out, and I see this piece of paper, like lodged into the tree, like where it was hit. There's this big piece missing. And I'm like. What is that? So I start walking towards. And I'm like, and I hear my mom in the background. Like, what is. That? And I'm like, I don't know, give me a second, you know? And I walk. Up to it and I pull it out and you can't make this. Shit up. It's his death certificate. It's his certificate of the day that he died. And I'm sitting there and I just fell to my knees and started crying because I'm like, how did that happen? And my mom walks up, she's crying. And it was in her glove compartment. And it was her car. And I'm telling you. Laura, it was lodged in like I had to pull it out of the tree. It was lodged into it. So in that moment, it's like, you know, we all have an intuition, right? Oh my gosh. Wow. Yes. My intuition in that moment was like. You're on the right path. This is a. Sign. Keep going right. So okay. I don't really know what to make of it, but I know internally I'm on the right path. The next place. That my mom and I went was. Whole Foods. And I'm wearing a cap on my. Head because I. Still my head is huge and I. Have. Gashes on my face. And. All of a sudden, you know, we all have those moments that we. Meet people there, right place. Right time that say the things that. We need to hear, right? Because, God, there's a higher power speaking through them. Right? Higher power. My mom and I are in the produce section and a woman just. Starts. Talking to my mom. I don't know. Where it. Was like a magnum. She ends up being. A neurologist. From the. Hospital. I just was let go of. And my mom goes. She was just in. That hospital. She just had a near-death experience. She just saw her brother on the other side. This woman turns to me. And she had leads the NDE. Department. Of that hospital. Like you can't. I'm looking in your eyes like you can't even make this shit up. I was like, you can't. You can't make it up. And that's why I. This is the most wild ride. This is why my jaw is, like, still on the ground. My eyes are bulging out of my head right now. Like, I cannot believe it. But of course, of course I love it. All the magic happens at Whole Foods. Do I know it's I love, like, good nourishment. I love that you know that. So this this woman starts. Talking to me and as. She's speaking to me, I start to see figures. Morphing around her. Head. And I start. Just. Having a panic. Attack because I at that point. I didn't understand what was going on. Right. Oh my gosh, of course. And there's no language, right? Just like when. We're kids and things happen, we're. Pre-verbal. When we go through an evolution, right? That's what I'm going through and it's pre-verbal. I can't speak to something I don't fully know about yet. Right. That's why this is a decade later. Now I can speak to the clarity, right? Right. For sure. so I end up. Excusing myself. Because I just was having a. Panic attack and I, like. Ran away from this woman, basically into the. Vitamin aisle. And I'm standing in the vitamin aisle having a full on existential crisis. And I'm like, what? What is happening in my life right now? And I'm like, I must have been internally like praying to God, right? Like my higher power. Like what is. Going on. And in that moment. She grabs me. And I turn around and she says. I know that you basically shifted to the other side. Ends up saying, my father just died. Did you see him around me? And I. Fell. To my knees and I just started crying like she was looking at. Me for like. Validation because. She knew that I had tapped on to the other side. She works with NDE, people who have had ends. She, you know, she's she knows the power of it. Right. And so in that. Moment, I'm saying that because it was like my mirror in the quantum field, that confirmation, like. I had just tipped over. I'm teetering the line. Of spirit. And the human. World. And I knew in that moment that I. Needed to seek help. Like, I'm like, I need to reach out. So my brother Blake at the time was living in Australia, and he's very much in the conscious community. He has mediums and psychics and, and, you know, people who understand this realm, I call him. And I'm like, Blake, something's happening. He's like, what do you mean? I start telling him. And I started seeing spirits. I started seeing little. Girls in my room. I started seeing my cowboy in the mirror and the cowboy in the mirror. By the way, I'll just like, side tangent this. A police officer. Had to come to our house, my. Parents house, to to. Like, check on something. And when the. Cop. Came, my mom randomly. Said to the cop like, is our land built. On something? Like what was what was here back. In the day? And he's like, it was it was actually a train station for. Cowboys, like there was. And my mom. Had freaked out because she's like my daughter seeing a cowboy in her mirror, like all. And I'm saying that because things just. Start to. Connect, you know. And make no sense. So anyway, my. Brother ends up pulling me. Back a few. Days later and saying to me, all right, Cass. I spoke to. A lot of mediums, a lot of people in this realm, and they said that. Basically you have you are. Teetering the line. And you have to. Make a conscious. Choice. Are you going to walk this path or are you going to go back to the life? It's basically he's. Saying the same thing I knew in that hospital. Bed, right? It was just a more. Grounded external mirror for me. Of like, we're going to keep. Walking this. Path. You're going to trust it. And after that. I made. A conscious decision to. Move. 3000 miles away from my family, and I moved from. Chicago. To California, and. I decided to start to. Go inward by myself and figure. Out why I had this. NDE. And that's like where. The journey really. Begins for me. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. So how long after are we? How long after the experience are we that we're going California? I mean the next. That like that year like. I. Yeah. Not long. No. I was like, yeah. I, you know, honestly being a full Capricorn like I am, I am a. Doer like I am. I'm a doer, I'm a beer. Right? That's been a big. Part of the human that. That. This transition I'd had, I've. Had to learn right. The understanding of like to get a lot done. I just have to be here. Yep. so. It's within the same. Year. I'm. I leave, I go to. California and I start this inner. Journey of complete excavation of. Everything that I was conditioned, imprinted and programed. To believe was real. And on wire. It and understand who I am underneath. All of it. How did you know where to start? Good question. I didn't write like I didn't I? I cast. Didn't know. But that's the. Biggest thing that changed for me. It was like. Before my NDE. It was like cars experiencing. The universe and. Life. But after I died, it was like I'm everything. Experiencing the human cars in her life. It was like the roles had reversed. It was like I was. Everything with a knowing I was everything. And just like learning how to be a human. And I say that because it's kind of interesting, because people. See me and I've got. Tattoos all. Over. I'm covered. You know, and even the other day I'm at the dog park and this guy walks up. And he's like, what is all this about? And he goes, because all I see are like, the the words I'm. Getting are. Like, love. And I started laughing and I said. Great, great word to attach because. That is who I am. But what I realized after the. Accident was, I'm not the body, I'm the message. and these words that. Are all over me are things that when people in the human experience, souls in a human body. See it checks them. Back in. To like, oh shit. I'm okay. I'm safe. I'm safe. To be a soul. In a human. Body. Having. An. Experience. That's the point of all. These tattoos, right? It's to get you here to check in. And so I didn't know where to start. My soul did. And where my. Soul started with was space first with space. Space from everything I had known and attached my story to. And if you think. About it now, right from quantum fields, it's like, if I want to create a new story, I can't pull from the. Old, The friends had to. Fall away. The atmospheres. Had to fall away, the location had to fall away. The things that were familiar, comfortable. My programing, my into printing had. To fall away. and then I. Started to isolate. In a healthy. Way. Right. There's isolation and unhealthy ways in isolation, in healthy ways. And I've learned that as well. I started with a routine. I got really disciplined. I would wake up. Every morning at like four in the morning and I would run. I would put on piano music and music. With. With ambient music in the background, and I would just witness. I start. Observing myself. How do I think, what do I believe about myself? What do I believe about the world? What do I believe. About my. Life? I started to figure out. What coats I. Put on in the human experience, and what I need to start taking off. And then I started. Taking a lot of. Baths. Learning about self-love. What does self-love look like? I had never practiced that in my life. How do I take care of myself? How do I. Reprogram people pleasing, taking care of everyone else around me? Because that was my role in my family? And how do I. Turn its. Focus onto myself? So my routine was like waking up every morning running, feeling, giving myself the. Space to feel. I'd cry in the. Tub for hours. I mean hours. I'd lay naked. On the floor and I. Cried a spirit. And I'd be like, I don't want to be this person. That means I was acknowledging. These parts. Of me. And then that self-love part. Was loving and. Taking care of and valid, hating those parts of myself. And then I went into intense reading. I read every self-help book. I read every. consciousness book, every quantum physics book. I mean, I. Just told into. The mind, body, soul connection and understanding, mind and heart coherence and somatic therapy. I mean, this. Is a decade. Ago now. I was talking to my partner the other day. I'm like. Somatic therapy. Now. Is like so big. And when I started my private practice ten years ago, it was woowoo. And I think I told you, right? Yes. And it's so true. And for people that don't know what a somatic therapy. Somatic therapy is basically somatic. Is the body right. Be having an internal experience. And somatic therapy and somatic movement therapy. Is. Focusing on the internal. Movement. Rather than the external movement. Right. So even right now while I'm on. This call with you, I have created an awareness of myself where I'm above myself, watching me on the computer. I'm above that. Person, watching that person watch myself on the. Computer with you. And in this moment, that's how much. Like I. And I can keep going. And in this moment. I have an understanding of what. My heart is feeling. I have an understanding what points of my body are on the chair. I have an awareness right now that. If I cock. My head a. Little bit back. That I'm strengthening and stretching my neck out right now. Because I have practice. Being in my body for so long, I can feel when I'm out of alignment. That somatic is being. In your inner experience. And feeling. Your joints, your muscles. It's the internal. Movement creating the external. But in this world we're working out. We're taught to watch. And force and pull and watch from the. Outer instead of. Flipping it and concentrating on the inner. So somatic focus is on that reality. And I. yeah. And I knew coming back into this experience, like none of it is about our external experience. It's our inner world. And if I don't work on this. Nothing externally is going to be okay for me anymore. and almost everyone that has come on this podcast has said it's an inside world. It's an inside out world. It's a it's an inside job. You know, everything that we want to create and that we want to learn. And if we want to heal, if we want to grow, we have to look inward. that's how beautiful my friend who just did this, ten day silent retreat, said that one of the meditations that was Vipassana yoga are the thoughts in a meditation that you're familiar. So. And part of that is, is scanning your body. That reminds me of that. Like it's doing that scan and noticing your cheek, noticing all the things that you don't notice on a regular basis. And so is that the type of work that you teach now? Yeah, I do a body scan for me is like my daily ritual, right? Like I wake up before I get out of bed, I do. My body scan. I have to tune into myself. Before I go to bed. I did my body scan. yeah. I mean, somatic movement therapy is a big part. Of my life. Body scan. I take people through meditations. I take people through unlocking themselves and understanding what's going on in their inner world. I mean, there's so much that I do in this human experience that I'm sure that. We'll get to. But that's a very big part of what I do. In this experience now, because for me. It's like the. Company. That I've created and the world that I've created is all about. Mind, body and soul connection because I am a. Believer. You how? How does it even make. Sense to function? If all of that. Is not connect, it doesn't. Make sense. Like I tell people that like make it makes. Sense to me. Like if you're not creating space. For your. Heart, if you're not creating. Space for your breath. If you're not creating space for your inner world. And your external. World and maintenance, mind, body, soul maintenance. How does your. Vehicle run. Properly? Oh my gosh, it's like it's so simple. Of course it's so simple. But but no, we're not thinking about that. Like that is not what is top of mind for us. You keep saying the human experience and so I'd love for you to elaborate more on what you mean by that. Yeah. So I'm a. Believer personally that we. Are living an experience. Right. This is a lived experience. I you. Know, one. Knows, right? Like I've brought a lot of. Literature in my day. I've researched a lot. No one knows. That's just like the crux of it. No one knows what this is, right? When I came. Into this moment, I think I have somewhere on here it says the experience. Right? That's the only thing that came through for me when I came back here is I'm in an experience right? I don't know what it is. There's no concrete evidence of what it is. I don't know if I'm in a video game. I don't know if I'm. Like this. Big in a fish tank that someone's, like, threw me in. I don't. Know. What I do know is it's inexperience. I'm having an experience. Right. And I'm having. One as a human. And if I'm gonna do it, I might as well have fun doing it right and. Free myself in all. The ways that. I can in this. Experience and play. But I know. What I know, and I know I am. Not this body. I know that I. Am so much more. I know I can astral. Project. I know I can close my eyes and I can be somewhere. So fully. When you think. I'm here. And there's a. Part of me that's fully not. I know that there's more. So when I say the human, this is what I'm having. I'm having a human experience. And when you say it, experience. Like when we talk in the 3D world about an experience where you know, you're going on a vacation or you're going bungee jumping, it's taking a breath. It's sitting on the couch. It's yeah, it's sleeping. It's like all of it. It's all of it. And it's funny because, you know. When I. Get this, got the said to the experience, I am the. Experience I am experiencing myself. So if I'm experiencing myself, I'm experiencing myself talking to you right now, I'm. Experiencing myself. Walking in a field with my dog. I'm experiencing myself on an airplane. It's all. An experience. It's all encompassing. When we go bungee jumping, I'm having an experience. While experiencing. Bungee jumping. It's all in experience. But like for me as a whole, I am the experiencing. Just like I said, like I'm the universe experiencing chaos. I'm experiencing chaos. Experience all this stuff. but the main part of it is. I'm experiencing being a human. Because I'm not. Attached. To being the human. Because is our true essence, not human is our true essence elsewhere. And is that why this is the experience? That's what I feel. Yeah. Yes. I mean, I, I, I'm with you. I'm with you on it. I'm with you on it and you know, when you see yourself separate from your body, you know what happens when you have a near-death experience or when you hit your head or when you're experienced trauma where they say, they say you're in shock. Yeah. And so therefore you don't feel pain or it's adrenaline and you don't feel deep in. The adrenaline, say. Yeah, what happened when I came out of my body and what I'm hearing from you and you saw Jason and had this is that it expanded us in such a way that you can't fit anymore into whatever you were doing before the experience. You no longer fit. You have to recalibrate. And that's the beautiful part about breaking some of our bones, too, because in the healing process, our body keeps the score in the healing process. We are rewriting all of the things that will fit into our new expansive version of this human experience. Yeah, well, the biggest. Thing that I can say to that is everything that I'm hearing the through line is awareness. Right? Like we have an. Awareness around something. We have an opportunity to transform anything. Right? That experience shifted. My awareness, something wasn't. Right. It when you. Say breaking a bone, if I'm sitting here and I. Break a bone, it forces me to. Have an awareness. Of the bone. It forces me to be with the bone while it's healing. Having a cast on forces me to have an awareness that something is wrong. Something is not working with an awareness around it. I follow that. Awareness. To what it's teaching me and I have a different perspective. Right? So like having this near-death experience. Created so many. Levels. And layers. Of. Awareness in my life. One okay, when my brother this. Is an example. When my brother died, right? I had an. Awareness. My brother died. I had an awareness of he had an addiction. It highlighted. My addiction. It highlighted why. I was an addict. It highlighted why he was an addict. It highlighted the. Suffering that we both. Had. It highlighted the. General racial trauma. We both had. With an. Awareness comes a. Choice, and I have made conscious choices to say yes. To healing those right. I could have seen the awareness around, oh shit, I'm struggling and done nothing about it. But that's not how I'm programed. Right? So I say this all because when I created. Now. Level Up like that is. The company I. Created. People don't even realize. Like now level. Up. The only way to. Evolve our consciousness. Is to be here. Now. and that is the hardest thing for every single person in this world, because we're either pulled to the past or pulled to the future. We're pulled out. Of the now from fear. And then. But when we can create a life where we're present. To. It, we are. Fully in the experience creating from conscious. Choice, which creates the reality. We want to essentially live into. Does that make sense? So good. It is so, so, so good. That's it. I mean, that's it. It's awareness. It's conscious awareness. Yes. It's the whole. Did he just break the game? Bring it. Did we just break the game for your watchers. Yeah I play like what is it. I don't even play video games. I don't know what it's supposed to be called. Yeah, yeah. It's like yeah, it's whatever the secret level is. It's like, well, secret. Wait, I have to tell you, I love that you said that because. Do you know how I named the company? Now level up. Let's talk about it like that's the. That's the most beautiful part about this. And to me. There's a fairy tale because I was. Gone. Right. So I'm rewinding to when you. Said, like, how did you start. Doing this process? And I started reading and investigating and learning about myself and understanding my generational trauma and. Childhood. Trauma, and. How to. Reprogram myself and. Do that. At a subconscious level. I had spent. So much time away from my old. Life that I felt. Myself changing. I felt the new. Neural pathways being built. I could feel it and then I had to go home, right for the holidays. And Buddha speaks to if. You think you're enlightened, go home. Right? And there's such a depth to that when you. Start doing this kind of work. Because you are changing at a cellular level, and it is going to test every single thing that you think is real. Now, because everything in your reality is going to mirror an. Old reality, and you have to be. Strong enough, just like I wasn't when I got sober and went back. To work. You have to be stronger than that. Sickness. You have to be stronger. Than your programing. So I get out of this cab in. Front of my. Doorway. And meanwhile. Back. In LA. I start to create the. Business and how I. Started to create. It. I'm going to back up. If that's okay for a second. I have this. Moment and I want to share it, because this is a moment that I think will resonate with everybody. I have been doing. So much. Work. That my mom had called me, and I picked up my my. Phone and she starts. Screaming at me and yelling at me. And that was my old programing. It was the. Abuse. It was the place that I came from. It was toxicity. It was. Unhealthy. Relating patterns. And I started to feel. Like my soul. Dissociating. I felt like I was. Like blacking out. I felt my. Heart racing, like I felt like. I was having a panic. Attack and I don't know what it. Was in me. But I clicked off the phone. Threw it on the bed, and I was like, I need something to help me ground. I felt myself dissociating. So I went in my in my closet, grabbed paint. I'm not even shitting you. An old t shirt. And I. Just started. Painting. The war is over. I put the. Shirt on with the paint dripping, and I took paint and painted on my mirror. This giant mirror in my room. A vow I promise you. Cast the is over. I needed to see a mirror. To tell my. Consciousness that. I was okay. And I was. Safe. And in that moment. Right. I'm in the quantum field. I know I'm in a quantum field. I need something because I didn't have people around me to, like, help me. I was. You know, but I needed the I needed the perfect mirror. And so I'm sitting there, I paint it, and my programing. Is to isolate and go into distorted realities. And, and depression and sink. And I knew I couldn't do that. So instead. I jump in the. Car and I drive to the grocery store because I love the grocery. Store. It's like my happy. Place, right? I'm back at Whole Foods. Whole Foods. When I was little, I. Was in California, though. Yeah. And I get out of the. Car and I'm wearing the shirt. That says, the. War's over and it's dripping paint. Okay? And I get out and everyone. Starts. Throwing up signs. Hey, I love your shirt. Great shirt. And all of a sudden I felt my vibration rising. And that was the change because I went from. Fear to trust, fear to love. I started to. Pattern myself, and I started to create an awareness that I was patterning myself by some kind of. Tool that. I was using externally. So I'm like, okay, something's happening. I leave, I'm literally. Walking through for like 20 minutes and I'm like, oh. Okay, I. Feel good. And I'm walking out to my car and this guy starts walking by. Me and he goes in a snarky way, oh yeah, cast. The war is over. And I'm not kidding, Laura. I'm walking past him and I. Literally grabbed his arm in. Passing. It was like. God came through me. My higher power came through me, and I put his hand on my heart. This man had no idea who. The fuck I was. Excuse my language. And I put my hand on his and I centered us in the parking lot. And I looked into his eyes and I said, brother, I promise it is. We just have to make a choice. And I'm telling you, he. Starts. Crying. You like. Crying. Profusely. Saying sorry to me because he's like, I'm so sorry. I'm having a hard day. Him and I. Sit on the stoop of Whole Foods for. 2.5 hours, opening our hearts, being vulnerable. I told him that I picked up the. Phone for my mom and that she was yelling. At me in my near-death experience, and I've been healing myself. And he starts telling me by the time we got up. We were both in a different vibration. We would moved out of fear. We were both in love. We were having. Fun. We were laughing, we. Were being playful. And it was because we were the perfect mirrors for each other. And that vulnerability, right? Brené Brown talks. About the happiest people. In the world are the most vulnerable. We are taught the opposite. We're taught to hide and suppress. And numb and not. Talk about. Our feelings. But we don't realize that feelings last 90s and if we can just find someone to hold the container and to. Talk about and hold space. For and love. Each other through it, we could all be shifting so quickly in this world, out of. Depression, out of sadness, out of. Fear, so I get in the car, Laura, and I hear. God the same way. I heard my higher power in that hospital bed, and I heard God say, you're on to something. This is the. Beginning. Charles. Wow. I get home and somebody who I had met, who was in a community that I had met at an event, calls me and says, Cass, I want to invite you to a dream. Circle the next day. I don't know what a dream circle is at that point. Sounds so fun though, right? Yeah, I'm into it. I walk. Into this unbelievable. Space with like eight people who are. Intense creators, manifest all on their own business, badass entrepreneurs. And the whole thing was you write on a piece of paper what you are creating. What you want to create. And you put it out there to God, to the universe, and to the people here and see. If anyone can help. You write. I write on the piece of paper. I'm standing up, shaking, and now I find it funny because. I love speaking. Now. But I was like, so nervous. And I'm like, I think that I'm supposed. To start this clothing company. And this, like, conscious awareness. Company where you change your frequency from fear to love. And you reprogram yourself, and that. There's. Alchemy and intention and all. This stuff. Next day I get an email from somebody who. Is there, who knows. A friend who. Has, a graphic. Designer who. Will help you start. This company, and all of a sudden, the next day I'm in talks and already in. This, this. Moment of creating this thing. Now fast. Forward, back. To this moment. I'm in front of the door. I'm going home. I'm home for the first time in over a year. And I'm standing at the door, Laura. And you know what I said? What can help me. Visualize a better. Outcome? And I thought about my brother Blake and my brother Jason. And when I was a little girl playing Mario Brothers. I love that. Game. I love the game. And I remember. The level with Bowser and Bowser's, this big turtle thing that throws fireballs at you. And I was like, okay, my mom and my. Dad are Bowser, and they're going to come at me with these fireballs. And I literally, I'm not kidding. I said out loud to spirit, what is the only. Thing that I. Can do. Right now? Oh, and I started. Laughing and I'm like, I'm going to level the. Fuck up. And I'm like, I swear to God, that's how this happened. That is how the company's name. So I go, oh, now level up, and I. Go into my pocket and I. Text this. Woman and I said, the company's name is now. Level up. Work on the logo. And I. Walked in the house and I. Changed every reaction. I would have had in the past to a response. And the response came from the woman that I chose to be in that hospital bed, which was love. Every time they came at me. With a fireball. Okay, I can react or I can respond. I can level up and let the. Fireball. Pass me, and I can. Take a higher perspective. And awareness and level. Of. Response. And that. Is how this. Whole thing was birthed. Oh my gosh, that's so good. You've said it multiple times through this talk. You're playing with Jason, you're playing the game. It's all a game. It's like you're having fun. How can you enter into this potentially toxic environment and like, still have fun? Yeah. Oh, you can reach for the highest version of yourself. You can level up. Yeah. And that is so awesome. Yeah, I love it. How did they respond when you were leveling up? Are you helping them level up by being leveled up? Yeah. So I'm, you know, like. As I say to you before, like, I don't believe that. Playing small does anyone any good. Right? I believe. Sitting in our now level up version. Gives people opportunities to level. Up for themselves. Right. Otherwise we're playing the. Game at their level and that's not what. We're here for. I. Come from a very toxic environment. I do like, you. Know, even if I can understand it from a. Higher perspective. The reality is that. There's some people in this world that don't want to change. And that's something, too, that. We have to sit with as. Humans. There's people that aren't ready. And everywhere in my life. I have created absolute magic, absolute evolved, playful, magical connection. My family has been hard. My brother and I, Blake, are very close. He's my best friend. Unfortunately, my father, who is my best friend, he passed away and that's a big part of my journey as well. But the near-death experience helped me to be his bridge to the other side, and it helped me. With my relationship to him. My mother and I have. Always had a very toxic relationship. It's always been very on and off. I love my mother to death because I understand her at a conscious level. But the. Thing that. This. Level of consciousness. Has created. An awareness around is. That I can love people. Meaning let others voluntarily. Evolve. And I can also. Lovingly detach from situations that don't allow me to be my highest evolution. Expanded version of myself. Which is why I've had to take space. From my mom for years. Does it mean it's. Forever. Now? Right? But for now, yeah. So like an overall. Answer. To what you said is like, I give people opportunities. To meet me where I'm at. I don't any longer. Allow this world to control. My level of. Consciousness. I like to say that. I don't play the game anymore of this world. I create it. And the way to do it is by being the perfect. Mirror. And giving people an opportunity to meet me where I'm at. And the beauty. Of it is when you are, that you would be so. Surprised at how many people you. Would never think right just by like our old. Programing. Could step up. I'm me and every moment. And people, I mean like people. Randomly at a gas station will get into conversations and I'm just me. How are you today? Oh my God. I mean, I'm okay, but like, I saw these signs and this happened to me in that people will meet you and be like, oh my God. I saw angel numbers today and I saw this and I saw that and it's like. Cool, they meet you there. Because I'm, I'm seeing the highest version of themself because I'm doing the highest version of me. Does that make sense? Yes, I mean, totally, you're a magnet and your vibe attracts your. Tribe one. Hundred percent. Your vibe attracts your tribe. How many years have there been for you? We're coming. It'll be five in August. Okay, so I feel like I can say this to you. At that point. It's like you have an awareness, right? You're on the journey. You're like, in a place of, like, you know that there's this gift, right? And you're just giving it right. Like I said. This to you, one of the reasons and I'm going to. Break the third wall and say this to the people. Watching, like, I'm such a. Big advocate of the report because I feel like this is Laura's purpose. Like I feel like. She is channeling. You, right? Yeah, I do, I feel like you are powerfully stepping. Into. What is missing in this world, which is which is making this. Normal. You're normalizing death in the human. Experience and not. Making. It mean what we're programed to think that it means. You're. Breaking through that illusion. And that's what we need more of. So I say that because at. Five years in, it was like I was building now. Level up. I was building myself deeper and deeper. I was. Walking this path and when my father. Was passing away, it was like it was almost like. My angels were telling me that I needed. To experience what I did to help my father walk to the other side. I needed to help him. Be that bridge. And my father was a strong. Bullheaded, like. Entrepreneur. That was like so. Hard on the outside. But such a mush. On the. Inside. But he showed. Me the mush. Right? Like I was the one that knew him to every layer. And I. Knew that. His angels and my angels. Knew that I could be. The one. To speak. For him. Because unfortunately, my dad fell down the stairs. He hit his head, he had, Brain surgery, and he just never. Recovered. He was. Bedridden. For over a. Year and wasn't able. To speak. Wasn't able to eat. Which was. Interesting for me. Because. my father. Loved food. So it's like I knew that God took. The things away from him. That would normally. Be a numbing. Tool for him. Like he couldn't talk his way. Out of anything. He couldn't eat his feelings. He had to sit with his life. And I got to. Have the honor to sit in that room with him. And work on his body. I did Reiki, I did. Somatic therapy with them. I told them how to breathe in different, different parts of his body. I worked on his. Body to release the pain. And he had been my savior. He was my guardian angel. As a kid. He was my balance and my stability and. When he was. In his transition. I left and. Was on my way back to California, and I got a call basically that he was declining and that I needed to jump right back on a plane and come back. And when I was on the plane flying back. I started to write as eulogy. And all I could. Write. On the plane was, how do you watch Superman hang up his cape? And I couldn't write anything else I like. I still. Feel like crying right now, like there's. This part, because. I. Knew. That this character. In my. Story was about to leave. And when I got back. They'd said that he hadn't. Opened his eyes, hadn't spoken since. I had left before. And I'm not kidding. I go to I go straight from the airport to the hospital and I brought my Bluetooth speaker. I love to. Dance, and I'm. Outside of the hospital. Room and my brother goes, what are you doing? And I take out my speaker and I press play, and I blast this music. In the hospital, and he's like, what are you. Doing? And I didn't answer him, and I walked into the room and I just started dancing and. Jumping up and. Down and. Playing, and my dad slowly opens his eyes and he. Smiles and my brother. Goes, how do you do this? Like, how do. You do it? And I said. Well, would you. Open your eyes to the. Dark or. Would you open it to the. Light? Ooh, wow. Yes. So I got the chills because it's the truth. Like, we play. This game in such a programed. Way that we think we have to be these people and tie our ties. And my dad was the quintessential, like, wear a tie and suit every day. Like he had his own business, all this stuff. But underneath I saw who he was. Same with with. Anyone I stand in front of. It's like I see who you're playing and you're so much more, and I see it and I pull that out of people. So I'm sitting in his room. And the next day comes. And it's the day. He's going to. Pass. I'm laying in bed with him. I'm looking in his eyes. He has this mask on, helping and breathe. And I say to him, you know, dad, you never asked me about India. Because I ended up, closing. My practice and booking a ticket with one backpack and going to India and walking through India for 40 days and 40 nights. because. I was just like, this is what I need to do. And it was just a whole experience. That's another thing. For another podcast. Different podcast. So I said, you didn't. You didn't ask me. What I. how my trip was. And his eyes got wide, you know, and I'm whole. I'm looking in his eyes. And I said, I found the key to life. And his. Eyes like. Go like this. And meanwhile I'm playing. Playing like Burning Man music in the background. Like a Burning Man. And my mom's in there, my brother's in there. And I said, the key to life is to let go. And he died. About 22 seconds after that. Oh my God. Permission? Yeah. And mind you, my father died at 222. Which two to to his alignment. So I knew in that moment that like, there was a reason. And when I got to stand up and. Say his eulogy, the eulogy was saying, how do you. Watch Super Meaning of. Escape? And it was about. Balance and stability, moving out of my life and knowing that every moment after my father died. That I got the. Opportunity to look in the mirror every morning, look myself in the eye, look to my left and grab my cape, and I see it as. This quilted cape with all these. Stitches and different pictures and. Colors. And I get to. Throw it on. With all these. Memories and lessons and things that he taught me and things wisdom. But that I. Get to finally be the hero of my. Story. And I knew it was that moment. I knew it was that moment that. He was like, this is your gift. You just have to see it that way. Instead of seeing me. Leaving your story, I want you to see you becoming the hero of it. Now, knowing that I'm still here, just not in physical form. And wow, full body chills. Yeah. This. That is so incredible. Yeah. And also what courage it takes to have that mindset in a, in a space where it could be really painful and it probably still was painful, but you solved the polarity of the pain. Yeah. I call it like a radical shift of perspective. Right. Like subconscious. Reprogram is constantly attuning yourself to. Trust to faith from fear. And I'm a believer that all of our initial programing coming into this human experience, being a baby like you, think about a baby crying on your. Chest, it's fucking scary. Like it's. Scary. this may be a new human experience. I don't know what's going on. Right? Our initial programing is fear. And if we're raised, environments that just, Feed the fear, which most of it does because. We come from generational trauma. We are are like. Bounds of like. Threads that are just woven and and wired. And programed in fear. And I'm a big believer that when we wake up in our. Life, it starts the process of unraveling. That's why. Now Level Up is on wiring. The fear. Rewiring it. With love. Right? I have. Created something that I will give you the link and I don't know if you want to put it under here. But like there is a. There is a method that I've created. I mean, I've walked. This path, I created. A business from it. I created a 12 step. Program that takes. People through a three. Month. I call it the. Foundational period. Right? Where we really rip out the weeds and we. Replant right to grow something new. And it builds a foundation to grow from. It's not. Easy work, but it's literally like it's a map. And there's a. Method that I've created, right? And it's called. A concrete method to master your emotions. And it takes you through. A method and a. Process. Not detach in an unhealthy way. But it gives you an. Exercise of understanding how you can witness. Yourself. Not. As yourself, but as the world, right? As all the things. And how to completely. Reprogram yourself from fear. And old beliefs. And negative. Thoughts, looping, thoughts, looping. And also feelings, right? Like feelings aren't facts, thoughts aren't facts. Right? We get caught and we get caught in beliefs. And we're all running in, in a cycle, in a program that we're. Very used to. Right? I think it's Joe. Dispenza. That talks about when we're 35 years old, like we're already fully programed, like it's very hard to go backwards, but you can do it right. But we have. Automatic programing by the time we're 30. Five, right. This gives you. Tools on how to reprogram that and. How to feel. Because when you ask me like how do I. Move through pain, I feel. It. The difference. Between then and now. Is I feel it. I didn't feel. It, then I numbed from it. I escaped from it. I ran from it. I was terrified of. Feeling the pain because it felt all encompassing. Yeah. We get scared. Thinking that if we. Feel. Something, we're going to get. Swept away. The wave will carry us when really the wave teaches us, if we let it, if we let our. Feelings teach. Us. There's so many layers. And in the method I go into very big detail around like. What is it teaching us? Where did it come from? We have to be. It's like we have to be the the I don't want to say parent because it's a, it's a complete re. Parenting program right. Where we parenting ourself all the time coming back. To little us. But like it's. About being an advocate. For ourselves. Yeah. Right. Like I. Want to. I have a daughter. She's four. Right. I tell people. All the time I treat myself. Like I treat her and she's screaming. And yelling. I don't yell. At her and tell her to be quiet. I witness her, I observe her, I study it, I love her for what she's feeling. I validate her, honey. It's okay, I love you. What are you. Feeling? I ask her if she's having a small feeling, a medium feeling, a big feeling. Right? I ask her to identify it because. I want to identify my own. And then we feel it together. We move through it, we shift it. We discern like, is this something that's like, you know, that we want to. Feel or. Is there another choice? Can we feel something else? And it's like a. Rinse and repeat and that's like. A it's a method. Right. And I've learned the method. So I give it to my daughter. But it's I give it to little me essentially. That's such rich parenting advice to my four year olds consistently having meltdowns. And I can say that I respond or react differently each time. That was for me. Right now I need that. Yeah, I did that to use with with little less. Yeah. the same way. Yeah, yeah. But it's I am a believer, right. That the quantum field. Is mirroring to us what we need to see. And so for. Me, when I see my little girl crying. Right, the second. I see her crying, I take a breath and I'm like, I. Need to be here. I need to be here. Like everything. Else. Can wait. Nothing is more. Important. This is the. Field telling me I need to be. Present. I need to be here. And then I sit and I observe. And I feel. What I'm feeling. I go into my somatic feeling of like, what does this bringing up in me? Am I like triggered? Am I scared, am I. Can I breathe like, why do I feel this way? And then I bridge the gap. Between my heart and hers. And when I do that, I'm doing it to myself. I'm doing. It's like I visualize me with little cars. Sitting here, and it's like I ground me and it bridges. To little. Chaos, and then it bridges to my little. Girl. And every time she. Can feel it, we have a language that is so cosmic. Because I am. Her, she is me. I am giving her everything that little cast never. Got to. Get. Because I'm finally giving it to little Cass. Now. So it. Makes sense. Yes. Yeah. And I will say that that little, big and. Medium feeling works wonders because. The second they're. Crying, like when she's crying and I get to ground and I go through my process and I hold her and I. I literally. Just looking her in the eyes. I'm like, can you tell me, like, is it little? Is it medium is a big. And where do you feel it? And I can identify it. She's always like, it's my. Chest and it's. Medium. And I'm like, okay, well what is it saying? You know, and sometimes if she's eating, she'll say, God. Told me I'm full. I didn't have wow, they are so. Smart. Because they're. They're pure consciousness. But we have to. Give them the platform to be themselves. We have to give. Them the platform in the container to hear them, but to give them tools just like we never. Got we never got those tools, right? Like as conscious. Parents. We get to give what we never got. We complicate. The shit out of the. Human experience. When really like, it's so. Simple. But we feel like the simplicity is too easy or. Not. Allowed or. Whatever it might be. But this is a. Journey back home to that. I mean, I love when people say magic and they're like, oh, it's woowoo and I'm like, it's broken down to me accepting God is in control. And God, by the way, for anyone watching is God of your own understanding. It could be Jesus, it could be Yashua. It could be, you know, Buddha. Krishna, Allah. Shiva, a feather, a frequency, a butterfly, a. Feeling, a song. Whatever God is to you, it's like me accepting. God or a higher power of my understanding is in. Control. That's magic. Oh my gosh, it is magic. And you, the way that you speak about it, you are conjuring your hundred percent. You are a witch. You're a model. Which we all are, but we all are. It's recognizing that we have the power to conjure it. It were mystics because even people, yes, I see. Men all the time. Like men are amazing too. Like they can. You know what I mean? Like divine masculine man. It's like even with women, right? We get such bad, bad juju. Put on us. When we're called a witch. Or this. It's a mystic. We're mystical. We are mystics because we believe in the. Sacredness. Of this life. We are. Yes, right. Like, it's just that. And I will just say this. The beauty of. Magic and believing, even in this message of what you and I are talking about. Is like, it changes your frequency if they're watching this podcast right now. Right. And you watching this actually sit in the frequency of shit. Oh my God, I actually believe. This is magic. This is a sign it. Will change your frequency, which changes the field with helps you attract a higher frequency. See which gives you like you have. To live in the frequency. To attract it. And this is medicine if it's. Utilized the proper way. So I hope whoever's watching this you will utilize it. Take it in, breathe, listen to it over and over and over again. Reprogram yourself, whatever you need to do. But like we're here, we love you. It is not woo woo, but it also is when. Who cares? It's so good. Yeah, I love it. It's so good and it feels so good. And it can be full of joy. Like the reverence and the sacredness can be full of joy and. That's the biggest thing. And I'm so glad that you said that, because. It's a one thing. If somebody goes on my website, by the way, and you go. Into the 12 week. Program, the one thing that. People say. And this is, I don't care if you take the program or not, is. You can do this work having. Fun. People talk about shadow. Work all the time online, and I've never prescribe. To that because it's color work. You can create color. You can do it with happiness and do it with joy, but you got to do it with someone who sees the world in that way. You got to attract the people. Around. You that see the world through color, that playing in the world. My whole life is color. It is magic. It is playfulness because. I am attracting my inner. World. And when I work. With clients. I'm like, we're going to have. Fun, we're going to die. We're going to go. Into the places that you think are dark, and we're going to light it up. We're going to show you what color. We're going to have so much fun doing it. We're going to be playful around it. We don't have to take it so seriously. And we can become who we have always. Wanted to be and free. Ourselves in this experience. And we can do it in such a badass, playful way. We are going to take the Bluetooth speaker into the hospital room and we are going to dance. Yes, I for real, like, come on everybody. Like that's that's what, that's what it was. That's to be. Fun. Yes. So good. And it's so fun. Cast. Thank you so much. This was awesome. Yeah. Thanks for playing in the Magic of Leave. Thank you for listening to the woo report for way more woo woo. Please follow and subscribe to the report. Podcasts on YouTube. Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart, or wherever you love to listen. Never miss an episode of The Wu Report by joining the community at the Wu Report podcast.com. Thank you for liking, sharing, rating, and loving on this little slice of magic. I am so, so grateful you are here by.